My Creative Peace presents a Peek into my Art process - A girl with Antlers

My Creative Peace presents: a Peek into my Art Process - The Soothing of the Soul

Faith and Creativity: Where Do you Find your Sacred Echo?

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On quest to bring more meaning from the Bible than merely literal and experiential interpretation.  I have had a book on my shelf for some time by Judith M. Kunst called The Burning Word.  This book is one that I heard about from Margaret Feinberg in her book Sacred Echo 

Reading it slow and taking it in deeply

The art pictured above reveal a whimsical side of where I am at now.  I want moments of play and quiet and joy and soulfulness.  I am finding this appears in watercolor and lines and shapes and ink. This is where I find the Sacred Echo today. 


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Faith and Creativity: He's Some Kind of Wonderful

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In my alarm I said,
 "I am cut off from your sight!" 
 Yet you heard my cry when I called to you for help 
- Psalm 31:22


Have you had those moments when you feel like God is not listening.
 At all. 
That He could not possibly see what is happening. 
How could He?
If He saw how hard you are trying to be kind and esteem others higher than yourself...
If He saw how the more you give the more those around you take and really do not seem to notice how MUCH you are giving... 
how engaged you are...
how so much you want to be valued for your contribution
And you grow weary
and feel faint
and grasp at straws
looking for some relief somewhere
in a phone call
in a good cry
in silence
and then
SUDDENLY
you know you were heard all along.


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Faith and Creativity: Do you know of artists who put happy art into the world?

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I read an interview a while back with Mindy Lacefield
She talked about some of her people that inspired her including Mary Blair.  Now I had heard of Mary Blair before from another artist I love named Catina Jane  
So I decided to google Mary Blair and realized that she illustrated some of my favorite Golden Books.    

My best Christmas present was a box of Golden Books that came in the mail one Christmas.  I loved to read and to have my own collection of books were such a delight to me.  As I have gotten older, I realize that it wasn't just the books but the illustrations in those books that filled with with joy.  Happy art is what I call it.  I gravitate to deep soulful happy art.

     
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Faith and Creativity: Grace and the Loveliness of Dandelions

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Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,

who walk in the light of your presence Lord.

For you are their glory and strength

and by your favor you exalt our horn.

Indeed our shield belongs to the Lord,

our king to the Holy One of Israel

- Psalm 89:15, 17 18

The word "shield" has fascinated me for many years.  It is a word that I felt impressed upon my heart about 13 years ago during a spiritual direction class I took in seminary.  Around this same time creativity as a spiritual discipline began to bud.  I have pursued the creative life as a lifeline to God pretty steadily for the last 8 years.  The 'message' the metaphor shield... well not so much.

Today I think about how I have been shielded from things though I didn't realize it at the time.  I think about how I have tried to shield my children from life's disappointments until they were able to handle.  I think of many times how I wish I were still shielded from the agenda that can occur in church settings and in places where self absorbed  and self centered behavior ruins the beauty of all that could be good (like in classrooms).

This moment I think about why so much grace has been shown to me by God when I have felt rejected, unwanted, misunderstood.  Simple grace reminds me of delicate dandelions and how easily life can blow the bloom off the bud.

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Faith and Creativity: What Shields you from the Harsh Places in Life?

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For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless 
-Psalm 84:11


When I want I get poetry into my body quickly, I always turn to the Psalms.  I mentioned the book by Lauren Winner called Still which I recently finished and highly recommend.  She referred to various poets and yet said she was not particularly fond of the Psalms which struck me as kind of funny.  I turn to this space probably more than most since I am a novice when it comes to finding a poet that hit my heart chords quickly and help me to calm down enough to see the hope in the world and love the people in my life as I should.  These words above were a suitable balm to bring me through the day. 
 

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Faith and Creativity: In the Most Intimate of Spaces May We Bless Others

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Faith and Creativity: In the Still Moments Where Do you Turn?

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I recently finished reading Lauren Winner's book Still.  The book focuses on the middle place in the Christan life.  The place where you no longer need to be convinced that God is real and you are a mess without his guidance in your life.

Nevertheless, it still kills you that the bad guys still wins and patience is viewed as weakness and heart felt intentional winner leaves you holding the short end of the stick in this cut throat world.  I am still processing all that I connected with in Winner's book but the most profound piece is her connection to poetry in the saddest and confusing of times.  I have wanted to read more poetry but have felt overwhelmed and almost a little embarrassed to ask for suggestions on where to start because I know there is so much to choose from.  I have written down some poets she mentions in the book and I have picked up my copy of Saved by a Poem and begin to read it again.


 
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Faith and Creativity: What is your Soul Longing For?

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I have been spending more time lately looking for pockets of quiet.  I need it.  I am craving it more than I ever have before.  I do not know if it is all those years of isolation while I was a stay at home mom or while my hubby was deployed with the military but I find I have to be diligent about finding time to sit and think.

Think about where my life is headed at the age of 46.  What my life means now that I am back to work and being a wife on a full time basis since my husband does not deploy as much anymore.  More than anything I find myself trying to find my rhythm with God again.  The structure has changed.  And I am in earnest pursuit to put it back in place.

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My Creative Peace: Waiting for the Whispers and Trusting They will Guide YOU

Black bird in the Woods 12x 12 CLICK HERE to Purchase

Sitting before a canvas and trusting that the paint and the marks and the colors will become cohesive.  I can honestly tell you that I still feel the fear of thinking the muse won't show up.  The creative juice is gone.  I had a few years of writing where it flowed in waves and waves.  I am used to how writing works.  I had a ton to say and I trusted the process of ebb and flow.

This genre is different.  I am battling with the need to let my voice come forth. In all its whimsy. And mystery.  The light and the dark.  Working in harmony.  Sharing the story and bringing it out of me.  But I have willing to sit.  feel.  wait. And trust that I have a voice in this area to share and have impact in the conversation of art and paint.

This lady finds herself fluttering. Floundering.  She watches as the birds mimic the urgings of her heart.  The birds show up to support her inner yearnings.  She didn't know what would happen when she finally came into agreement with her heart's sadness and search for hope.

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Faith and Creativity: Why Do you Pray?

::Prayer Girl Waiting for Wisdom:: Available Now CLICK HERE

The times of waiting are most interesting. 

 You are in a moment where nothing outwardly has really changed.  And yet you are experiencing some sort of inner comfort. 

 I have begun to really experience prayer as something more than lifting some words to your maker and suddenly the circumstances change and you are all better and things are all better.  

I have stopped praying specifically for answers.  Though I still want them.  Time spent in prayer now feels more like

help me to remember that my circumstances do not define me or how much God loves me. 

 The longer I take this life on as a journey and not simply a race to get to the most comfortable place possible, the more I am able to be in a circumstance and not allow the bitterness to overtake me. 

 

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My Creative Peace: The Inner Call of the Soul to Make a Difference

In 2013 I became a grandma.  My son is in the military and so his family does not live nearby.  I did not have a close relationship with my grandparents but I have heard from so many how deep and impactful their relationships with their grandparents have been.  From the moment I found out the news I have been invisioning how I would be a part of this little boy's life.   

Since he is so little I have had to be content with sending little care packages of children's books to let him know his grammy is thinking of him.  My daughter in law is fantastic about posting pictures on Facebook and I am so grateful for that.  This little painting came intuitively.  I have recently found the work of Mindy Lacefield and took her Soul Bird ecourse.  She is really igniting my creative heart with her style of teaching.

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My Creative Peace:: Finding a Way to Stay Hopeful in the Tough Times

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Setting aside some childish notions of how life is supposed to be.  Definitely easier said then done.  The hardest part of moving forward after a disappointment seems to be allowing yourself to set goals again.. run after something with abandon... dream again.

For me I have found that I need just one or two close friends.  Ones that are willing to let their guard one.  Laugh with me.  Cry with me.  Be on my side.  Love me enough to not take my side sometimes.

Somehow this connecting allows us both to let the light shine on the dark places of life.  Enough to let the wounds heal without constantly feeling the need to pick at them.  

I hope you have one or two who do that for you.  I think each one of us needs at least someone that we can cut the crap with.  And get real honest.. that sometimes life is not so OK

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Writer Girl: Do You Feel God's Presence When you Write?

Day 3:

Oh gently lay your head, upon my chest,

And I will comfort you like a mother

while you rest.

The tide can change so fast but I will stay

The same through the past,

the same in the future,

the same today

chorus:

I am constant; I am near

I am the peace that shatters all your secret fears

I am holy; I am wise

I am the only one who knows your heart's desires

your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn let out your sighs

and drop that heavy load you hold

for mine is light

I know you through and through no need to hide

I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

Jill Phillips- "I am"

10.04.08
So though I officially have a "blog"(online weblog)*, I have this crazy habit of wanting to write my thoughts out on paper first. I know that sounds harmless, but given how much time it takes me to begin writing this habit prolongs my ability to actually complete what I might want to get down on paper  AND THEN transfer what I wrote to the blog.  First I have to re-read the entry to make sure it makes sense and by that time usually my little one is up from her nap and  UGH you see my dilemma. I have to learn to just go for it! I have to keep coaxing myself to take the baby steps.

I have two friends who I would say have been the most beneficial for just having a benchmark to move forward into the idea of being a "working" artist. One of them lives in another state so it is a bit difficult to do any face to face check in. I have known her for about ten years and she has definitely been the most consistent when it comes to not just talking about "creating art" but actually working her craft, mostly through oil painting and photography.

The other friend, however, I visited with last night. She is a former coworker that is married to a "working" artist - He actually makes a living from it and does AMAZING work.  My friend always has beautiful projects happening at her house.    They are either painting the walls of their home vibrant colors or creating a trellis for the entryway or incorporating mosaics into the walking path.  Just beautiful, soothing work. 

But I sense fear.  The same fear I am experiencing to be quite honest.  She recently quit her retail job because she felt like it was siphoning her energy (she might have said something like siphoning her life force - she is very poetic!). She said her immediate response to the new stage in her life (you know after the thrill of sticking it to your boss) was sheer panic. Did she really decide to take herself off the hamster wheel-the one that tells you where to go, when to go, how fast to go and how to think? Quick find another hamster wheel!

If you have ever taken a plunge like that, then you know. It feels like you are drowning in possibility. Problem is you do not know how to discern anything outside of the schematic of a structured work environment. My panic came in the form of motherhood. I waited several years for the little girl in my arms, but what was the constant ringing in my head? I felt like I was a retired Pavlov's dog unable to generate anything more than to NOT GIVE IN to the desires invoked by the bell. Too much time to fill and no one to tell me how to fill it. Well meaning friends who have heard me "lament" (a pretty word for moaning and groaning) said, "finally Robin you can write like you always talked about."

But how can one create in a state of panic? I felt forgotten in the world. 40 years old in a play group with a toddler surrounded by the other "twenty something" moms. Many of which were joyfully talking about their "next baby" while the one in front of them is barely a year old. I am college educated and full of life experience, stuck in a world filled with "The Wonder Pets" anthem playing in my head and not much else. It was getting difficult to get out of bed.

So as I embark on this thing - this facade I still call it even as I make myself write-I have no choice but to wake up in my life and EXPLORE. I see that my panicked friend and I could help each other. She actually holds a bachelors degree in art so she has the foundation to imagine a life of openness through her creativity; the ability to live more fully with her heart and mind.

Or... not.  This realization showed up the other day as I noticed that the very ones that I so admire for their creativity seem to be disinterested in cultivating my desire for living a more creative life.  Attempted conversations are met with limited curiosity and one or two words responses.   And conversations around creativity only seem to arise when I make the effort to introduce the topic. 

Julia Cameron in her book "The Artist's Way" warns of the "blocked" artist. Specifically, she warns the new artist who is beginning on this new road and still working through her panic -ME-  to be cautious of the blocked artist. The one with so much potential but... The old adage from your mother that says to watch the company you keep? Apparently it is true in the area of creativity. We can love to talk and "think" about creating. However many times what happens is the new artist begins to downplay her new explorations in an effort to bring comfort to the other which causes the new artist to minimize the value of what she attempting to do.

What do you do when you realize that those closest to you may not be as excited about your journey as you are?

Priming the Pump:

Are you feeling God's presence in this process?  Where/how are you experiencing Him?  Are there initial whisperings about what to write about?  What emotions are you feeling about those topics?  

Write 100 words OR write for 15 minutes (set a timer to help you focus and whatever you get down on paper for 15 minutes let grace hold you – well done!)

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Writer Girl: What to Do During Those Times When you Don't Know What to Write About

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Day 2:

"And when you can't write? When nothing comes? Those unproductive seasons are times of storing. I replenish by reading, reading, reading. You have to allow ideas to fill your reservoir before they are ready to spill over. A writer has to reflect the totality of life, not just the high points"

 -Luci Shaw, Breath for the Bones

 9.30.08
I am looking at this year as the starting point for a breakthrough.  I have always envied people who could commit to writing every day.  But I could never seem to make the commitment.  I think I waste most of my energy on living a life that is emotionally draining. Add to this, a nasty habit I picked up of writing emails which is writing I guess but ultimately drain my creativity and time.  Case in point, about a year ago, a friend and I emailed one another as a way of connecting before we met up for a retreat we were both attending. This went for about six months. I saved all the emails thinking that I would compile them and bind them into a book as a beautiful memory for both of us. What I found as I began to edit the emails is that we created 126 pages.  This made me realize that sitting down to write could be as simple as… well… sitting down to write to a friend.

I have heard that to develop a writing practice I have to simply write a page a day. Doing the math, I realized that even if my friend contributed 1/2 the pages, I obviously have the capacity to achieve a goal that I viewed too intimidating.  I am taking a personal inventory and recognize that I have been making excuses for not moving forward and simply writing.

Julia Cameron, in her book "The Artists Way," describes this type of behavior as 'shadow artists.' The idea of pent up creativity flowing sideways into other venues in an effort to cue the defiant artist that he/she is not living the fullness of his/her life. Whether it hearkens back to being discouraged from exploring art as a child or feeling incompetent or simply viewing the task as a waste of time, the idea of creation for its own sake rather than a manifestation of outcomes take a ton of courage.

As I choose to allow GOD to show me how my shadow artist can move into the light, dusting off years of denial and complacency and just plain laziness, I pray that this year would awaken within me the thrill of living again, outside the noise of drama and emotionalism and draw me into the inner peace a life with Jesus is supposed to bring. As I journey to the well for fresh water of ideas and awareness, I know I cannot help but change.

Priming the Pump:

What are the ways in which you drain your writing practice?  List friends, chores, responsibilities, fears, expectations.  Now that you have brought those diversions into the light, what does your shadow artist wish to write about?

Write 100 words OR write for 15 minutes (set a timer to help you focus and whatever you get down on paper for 15 minutes let grace hold you – well done!)

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Writer Girl: It is the VERY Moment When you Decide to Begin Writing Again

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Day 1:

"While we might be more than willing to accept teaching on an academic or professional level, when it comes to the way we are as individuals, how we think and act, we don't like being told that there is anything wrong with our mind set or behavior."

-The Monks of New Skete: In the Spirit of Happiness

 11.30.09

I have heard from many people that 'when the student is ready, the teacher comes." I wonder about the posture of 'readiness.' Does one have to 'feel' ready? Do we have a sense of what inner readiness feels like? Plenty of times I have desperately looked for a mentor to help me through tough spaces where I was left feeling abandoned, aimless and struggling (seemingly) on my own.  Here's what I have found:

·         Going back to college was not on my life's radar and yet I felt strongly I needed to attend. I did not have one teacher but many in the form of experiences and relationships and MOST ALL of them were difficult.

·         I have held jobs that were not in my industry which seemed to open up out of "nowhere." I walked through and gained much in the way of knowledge about who I was as a person as well as my capacity to take on new challenges.  This is another example of a mentoring experience which did not appear in its  traditional form.

I feel like I am in that space again where I need a teacher.   But this time I have no expectation of what the "teacher" should look like. Maybe this time I will spot him/her/it/them.

Priming the Pump:

Write about a time when you were looking for a mentor in your life?  Where did you go for help?  Did one appear?  What kind of experience was that for you?  What are your expectations as you begin to write on a regular basis?

Write 100 words OR write for 15 minutes (set a timer to help you focus and whatever you get down on paper for 15 minutes let grace hold you – well done!)

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