Monday, June 11, 2012

The Warrior in You






From my journal pages...

I used to have a different view on what a warrior looked like.  When I was younger, I was all about speaking my mind, letting you have it if you got in my way, don't cross me or you will be sorry type of mentality.  But something has happened over the years.  Dare I say it - I have become soft.  I walk more humbly, more circumspectly, I attempt to be more mindful of others.  We are all going through things.  Many of us are in a ton of pain.  So I attempt to speak my truth and leave room to be mistaken about my assessment of the situation.

Here is what I am finding:  we live in a world full of people who take full advantage of this type of person.  The more you try to make concessions for where you may have misread the situation, the more some people will say 'damn right and here's another thing'  to the point where they actually take NO responsibility in the matter where misunderstanding occurred.  

I am dealing with this in two different relationships and it is SO SO PAINFUL. But here is what I know.  I am a different type of warrior now.  I leave room now for people to let their experiences to catch up with mine. I hear the words of Jesus in my mind "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do."  And I try my best to let my life be a beacon for when they finally get to that place when they see that maybe they missed part of the story. It has not been easy and I will admit I have been crying A TONBUT I KNOW I cannot go back to the kind of warrior I used to be.  It just does not fit anymore.

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